If preserved ancient egyptians were 9 feet tall and suddenly became the living dead they would certainly get down and disco.

Monday, October 30, 2006

I love all of you

Dispite the last post(don't read it) I love you all!

I understand that there has been abit of conflict with people that I link to.
Except me, well I can't seem to leave pooks without breaking, ripping, ruining, etc, something at his place, but he seems pretty forgiving on that end. I like all of you no matter the mud slinging that seems to be happening to all of you I would like you all to know my oppinion of all of you stays the same and while in this situation I have my own oppinions none of them are bad towards people just situations. Alright anyways ... love you alll... and ride a slice of toast to the ball and... don't sneeze on Ebert Ropert.

Have a wonderfull derigble
-Shane

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Disgusting

The year is 2006. We have made great strides in our thoughts and tolerance for other people. 5 years ago homosexuals were not allowed the right of marriage. 50 years ago black people were shunned and not treated as equals. Around 60 years ago, Jewish Men women and children were put into Nazi death camps and killed. 150 years ago women were not allowed the right to vote. Now a days these things have been eliminated or extremely cut down

Now I hardly think the persecution I face for my religion is anywhere close to what other people have suffered through out history but in this day and age you would not call a black person and nigger and force them to work in your feild. Nor would you expose and gay man to a crowd and publicly murder them. You wouldn't stone a woman to death for infedelity. We respect people more than that.

I ask why is it then that someone does not have the right to simply believe in a higher power and lead a life according to God's teachings? What is the problem with a college student believing to do unto others as he would have them do unto him? I have not tried to force my belifes on anyone I simply defend my own. I have not told people they are horrible people for drinking alcohol swearing, taking the lord's name in vain, Watching pornography, having premarital sex, lying etc etc. It's not my place to point fingers and tell them they are sinful creatures, because I have done those all myself. Your sins are between God and you not God and every watching eye.(This of course becomes different for someone who proffesses to know and love God. then as you would a classmate skipping classes constantly play online poker, we would have a conversation.) I have never tried to make myself seem better than anyone else. Infact it's worst for me to sin because I profess to love God and I know exactly when I do something against his will. For that Father I am eternaly sorry.

I understand that I can say "If you lived my life you would believe" but the opposite is true as well. If I lived some one elses life I may not believe. There are things I have experinced in my life though that make it impossible not to believe in God. I have seen prayer come to reality which some may say is coincedence but how many times can coincedence occur before you have to accept that something else is going on. I have seen miracles. I have spoken in tongues, you can not possibly understand how frightening and how humbling that is. Nature itself screams of a creator. If you see a new car sitting in a junk yard do you think to yourself "That car must have created itself by all those parts around it". No of course not same as I can not believe that nature which would take more memory to desribe and conceive then all of the worlds computers. Has come about by accident. If you see an arrow head left over from natives you know that someone created it. So why then would you think that one particle of that arrow head which is infinity more complex to make would happen by accident? I myself am a miracle, the direction I was heading before church would have landed me in a much different situation then I am now. God saved me and my family and I challenge anyone to show me any other reason that I am not a raving manic addicted to drugs sitting in a prison. I am who I am because of the great I am.

I can see it from other peoples views though. If you have never seen the power of God. If you have only seen corrupt churches, read the history of christianity, read the theory of evolution there are alot of good reasons to not believe in God. But don't you dare be ignorant enough to call what I believe in "Stupid". You can think it all you want but until you can show me proof beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no God you will have to accept I may be right, just as I have to accept I may be wrong because I can not prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is a God, though obviously I have seen enough signs to make me darn sure.

To address something that was said also. Even though the bible was written 2000 years ago or so the original writings still exist and many different authors describe the same events the same way. Now you could retort that they collaberated their stories and lied but remeber these men wrote about being honest and not lying. So why would they collaberate and do just the opposite? Also most of the apostles met miserable ends years after their leader was dead why if they had lied and everything they wrote was I lie, why would they alow themselves all to die for it? Does this prove the bible is truth? heck no but it certainly says that it could be true.

To sum this up. Learn to respect what other people believe. You can disagree with me but you will respect my right to believe it.

I believe what I believe

Well surprise surprise I got exactly what my true faith is on the belife-o-matic thing. See I don't lie to you guys. Here are my results

1. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (100%)
2. Orthodox Quaker (88%)
3. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (87%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (81%)
5. Jehovah's Witness (80%)
6. Bah�'� Faith (74%)
7. Seventh Day Adventist (74%)
8. Eastern Orthodox (69%)
9. Roman Catholic (69%)
10. Islam (65%)
11. Orthodox Judaism (65%)
12. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (60%)
13. Liberal Quakers (55%)
14. Jainism (53%)
15. Unitarian Universalism (45%)
16. Sikhism (45%)
17. Mahayana Buddhism (45%)
18. Hinduism (44%)
19. Theravada Buddhism (43%)
20. Reform Judaism (41%)
21. Neo-Pagan (37%)
22. Scientology (36%)
23. New Thought (35%)
24. New Age (35%)
25. Secular Humanism (34%)
26. Nontheist (30%)
27. Taoism (27%)

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Wish I was as cool as Dean

oh dean got to be cool I'm just a loser

I'm Andy! Which Cowboy Bebop character are you?
Which Cowboy Bebop character are you?


UPDATE!

Emily got to be Jet soo now I am also now a loser compared to Emily. Why couldn't I be cool!?!?!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

YAY old cartoons


Mutley, you snickering, floppy eared hound. When courage is needed, you're never around. Those medals you wear on your moth-eaten chest should be there for bungling at which you are best. So, stop that pigeon, stop that pigeon, stop that pigeon, stop that pigeon, stop that pigeon, stop that pigeon, stop that pigeon. Howwww! Nab him, jab him, tab him, grab him, stop that pigeon now.

That is the lyrics to dastardly and Mutley one of my favourite cartoons when i was younger, oh the zany things they tried to catch that pigeon. And that is a picture i found on google

Moving.

Next month at about 7 oclock I will be at work and have residence not were i currently have it isn't that great?

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Feeling Angry

I don't know exactly why but for the past 2 days I have been kind of angry. I thought it odd that during SQL yesterday I put up my hood and listened to angry music while coding up a little in class assignment. The image strikes me as funny though. Last night right after work walking to Deans I started to get pretty angry too. This was all well enough explained as you will see from my previous post. Me and Dean sorted all of that out though and so I shouldn't be angry anymore. I have a feeling I'm mostly angry at myself. I have a quite a history behind me. The coping mechanisms humans have and the way terrible events can shape someone is pretty incredible.

I have had an anger problem for along time. As a kid my father was an alcoholic. While physical abuse was to a minimum it was pretty heavey on the emotional abuse. for 12 years I went through alot of crap including, Sitting with my Dad for hours having him tell me how I am inadaquit, me and my brother locking the door to are bedroom and him screaming and pounding on it till we let him in so he could insult us break our toys etc..., the occasional beating if I was ever to try and refute or get away from what he was saying and much much more. I can still remeber crying after he backhanded me for not doing something right in my hockey game earlier that day. That was my home life. Now that left me with some anger issues and issues with my Dad which I have mostly sorted out. Me and Dad don't fight anymore and he is a much better man than he used to be. That is prolly the big part but also at school. Do you know that kid when you were in grade school the bigger one who was allowed to dress as they wanted(in a bad way). The kid that wouldn't fight back? Yep I was bully meat. My bully experinces as a kid were not as bad as some but I can remeber not being able to go through a day at school with out someone asking me "Shane did you bathe in oil today?" or the countless number of "your fat jokes". Again minimal on the physical abuse but I remeber being pelted by basketballs by some older boys and then there was the text book beating I recieved on the bus once. So all in all I had one of the rougher child hoods.

Come about grade 7 I entered my depression this was probably aided by puberty and the life style change I made. I went from being kinda grubby not caring what i wore etc. To more trying to pick nice clothes, gelling my hair anything to get these kids to stop making fun of me. The main cause for my depression back then was because since I was young, girls found me repulsive or so they told me. So at the stage where guys start getting interested in girls I was sure no woman/girl would want me. My explanation for why I was depressed today is that I felt a lack of love from my father and was searching for it else were and I feared not being able to find it. My depression was pretty typical I contemplated suicide, hated myself, tried to hide it by being happy all the time. I only attempted suicide once and it was more for attention then anything and I know that now. I remeber how I had put my depression in prespective. Everyday I woke up miserable and I knew someday it would get better and I would stop feeling like this but I just wanted it to end right there and most of the time I thought about how to feel better death or otherwise.

At the end of grade eight about may my friend Justin helped me out of my depression one night. it was like someone turned on the lights. So from grade 8 till grade 11 I think I was pretty happy go lucky but I snapped alot. I could be set off by something as small as someone touching my face. As I matured though got bigger stronger etc my family started to get afraid of me. I know Dean has mentioned what he does when he is angry. I yell and get confrontational. So many times when I was angry I would get in peoples faces. I also have a knack to be incredibly cruel. I don't do it but pretty much as soon as I meet someone I know just what to tell them to break them. That my friends is far worst than being able to hurt someone physically. I would never hit anyone I would just make it seem like I might. I used to cut my Dad down all the time when we fought and he never said anything but I knew it worked because he would get angry... really angry. Thats something no one seems to understand about my anger it's not that I am threatening really, I can just cut you up until you have lost your confidence and then you will fear me. When I'm angry I thrive on control I need to put people in there place they must fear me. I don't insult people either really. Do you know the term "striking a nerve"? thats what I can do. I'm pretty observant about people. if your reading this right now I know exactly what I would need to say to you to make you break down and cry. This assuming your not a random person and I have met you. It's sick what I take delight in when I'm angry

On that note though I hate angry Shane. Angry Shane is the polar opposite to Shane. Shane likes to help his friends tell jokes and generally be pretty fun to be around. Angry Shane wants to cut people down make them fear him and if words won't do it his large stature and booming voice will (yes I would have to say I am pretty good at yelling). I haven't become angry in along time. Not even living with Rose has she been able to make me angry like in the old days.

I'm peaceful now I'm not really a ticking time bomb like I used to be it takes alot to get me angry and I mean ALOT. When you live through so much crap it becomes harder and harder for things to phase you. While it does have it's negatives sides. Like my darkerside. I think overall I am a much better person for all the stuff I have conquered and dealt with in my life.

On a lighter note I feel better now and on a even lighter note I opened the trash compacter at work yesterday and by george a rat when flying out of it. Scared the bejeebers out of me

Now if you are reading this thank you for reading my whole blurb about myself I promise to post more about Dean soon. Now go get yourself a samich

Friday, October 13, 2006

Bad bad Shane

Arg I'm so tired of drinking I don't want to anymore. I was planning to not drink on wednesday but when I got there everyone was like "Shane catch up" so I had alittle bit to drink and well low and behold I did something stupid I don't want to drink anymore I'm gonna quit. To everyone who was at Dean's on wednesday I'm sorry. I know some people were upset by my actions but none so much as myself.

K sooo thats all ta ta

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

You're probably not reading this

I have been unlinked from Deans blog! Oh horrors upon horrors. No one would visit my blog if they were not linked here from Dean's. I suppose I will just have to beg Dean to link to me again...

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Zaxo


I realized that no where on this blog do I have my symbol put in. I thought to myself now that just won't do so here is my sweet sweet symbol. Isn't the sharp looking? I enjoy it so much I think it is very profound easily recognizable and is a perfect symbol for a company.

If anyone didn't realize I am planning on creating a company that makes games and that will be the symbol.

The first game to be created under this name is hopefully going to be Morder. It's taken leaps and bounds since last september when I started it. Although it's got alot of work to be done on it still the engine is prolly around 85% complete which is awsome. Anyways give me some feedback on what you think of this sweet sweet design

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Dean and Emily both posted


Dean and emily both updated there blogs with non dean related material and pictures so here is a picture not about dean. I didn't know I had a pic of me prom on the computer. Didn't me and rose look cute :). I love her alot we's is getting married and stuff.